This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know

I kinda forgot I made a post about this a month ago, seemed so distant but I recall it clearly now - the formatting was bad (I blame Chrome), and I just really wanted to remember something about it.

There's no way I can sleep tonight (day, actually), because I'm supposed to go out with some friends for the whole way, and my fucked up sleep schedule has no flexibility, and I am no longer built for hours and hours without sleep. Solution? Hours and hours without sleep until it's night time, and zzzz until morning. x)

For the last few months my life has been as stagnant as ever - working emptily for just want I need, and doing nothing else except playing games and talking to people... When I say people, I usually meant guys, since a lot of the times I don't feel like I have much female friends. And if you knew me long enough, I really have non-stop boy drama.

I am really really really tired of all these boys come and go in my life. Can't one just stay? This time it's a nice one and I don't know what to do. :(

Now I understand why parents say their children are too young to fall in love - when you need to be realistic, I am really not old enough for a really stable - not when I already have responsibilities and stopped being an adult child.

I have moved on about Will - there's nothing I can do when he's in England and I'm stuck in Malaysia, and when the option acceptable option is that I move to England. Which is semi-ridiculous. And I know deep down that it will not work, no matter how much comfort we have as friends, as lovers, we just won't work. I've known him for 3 summers, and I still don't fully understand why he said somethings sometimes. I am too sentimental for him, I'm not tough enough, and I don't think we can live with each other for very long.

It just won't work.

Yep, that's it, Will is to be done with. I'm not even motivated to talk to him anymore. I used to feel really unnatural if I don't talk to him daily. For a person you talk to everyday (more than 3 hours, I think) for at least a year, it feels pretty strange that I could just stop caring as much. It's really surreal, but, people come and go. Will will always be my most special friend, and I hope I am too. It's no more, I can accept that now. I love him, but everything changed, and it wont be the same.

I was so happy. =/

I run from anything that I should face, most of my friends study, and only a few exceptions that choose the path that you just have got to stop slacking and start man-ing up.

I am clueless, but knowing myself, I'll just let it flow.

I am happy lately though, quite happy. If not very. :) Nice guys for a change, is very nice.

Oh and then there's this rage kid who's not even worth mentioning, I hope he lives in peace.

Me and my tears dry.